The Top Ten: Week 17
Commentary: Season’s Greetings from the home office of The Executive Director. As we hang stockings by the chimney with care, many Funny Money franchises hope that Week 17 riches will soon be there. Week 16 saw many win $500 (or more). Boss Hardigan lost his wild card bet, likely ending a solid 2012 campaign.
There are many division races yet to be decided, as a bunch of the contenders still have their wild card bets, which will make for an interesting final week. Quick shoutout to a few notable franchises that did not make The Top Ten. Kimmy Gibbler sits on the brink of the playoffs, and has won $500 an astonishing FOUR weeks in a row! Just a month ago, his season was just about over, but with some Week 17 magic he could cap off an amazing run with a playoff berth. Also, Kiko Garcia is still alive. He has his wild card bet, and could get in if he wins $1,000 and has a few things fall his way.
Speaking of wild card bets, there are eight left. Here’s who can swing for the fences in the last week of the season:
East: Gordon Bombay; The Beard of Zeus
North: Yaz
South: Will Cover; Don Mattingly
West: Blossom Russo; Kiko Garcia; The People’s Champ
(current total; last week’s rank)
1. Bayonnaise ($3,300; 1)
Another blistering $500 week for the ‘Naise has him sitting atop the standings with one week left. The only one who can catch him in the division is Yaz, while the race for the overall regular season title is far from over because others have their wild card bets available.
2. Blossom Russo ($2,900; 2)
Blossom did her best in Week 16, winning $500. However, her West lead was trimmed to only $300. If she had any stones, she would bet her wild card in the final week. If she wins, she is guaranteed to win the division, and has a shot at the overall crown and the record for most dollars in the regular season in FMFL history.
3. Gordon Bombay ($2,700; 3)
Bombay had late bets last week, but still managed to win $400 and build up a little bit of a cushion in the East Division. Both The 21th Precinct and The Beard of Zeus can catch him, especially Beard, who has his wild card bet. And Bombay still has his wild card bet. If he doesn’t use it and wins $500, he is guaranteed to win the division. If he uses it, he could go for the overall crown, but risks losing the division if he loses his big bet.
4. Face ($2,600; 8)
Face wins $1,000 on the week and is just $300 behind Blossom for the West title. He is all but locked into the playoffs (as long as he doesn’t lose $500 in Week 17 and have many others pass him). He is also on the verge of setting the record for best winning percentage in a season in FMFL history. Heading into the playoffs, Face is as hot and spicy as one of the beef jerky smokies he brings to the Browns games.
5. Yaz ($2,400; 6)
Another old timer that still has some bite, Yaz wins $500 and is the only North team that can challenge Bayonnaise. He can use his wild card and try to catch the ‘Naise, but if he loses $1,000, he could be on the outside looking in for the postseason.
6. The 21th Precinct ($2,100; 7)
The Precinct has continued to turn it on in December. He wins $500 and is now in second in the East (he has an ever so slight advantage in the tiebreaker with Beard). Odds are he’ll make the playoffs, barring a Week 17 disaster.
7. The Beard of Zeus ($2,100; 4)
The Beard split his bet, but much like Yaz, he’s in an interesting spot heading into the final week. He has his wild card bet available and can try to win the division, but a loss would bump him from the January dance.
8. Larisa Oleynik ($1,500; 5)
An uncharacteristic rough week for Larisa, as she lost $500 and now holds onto the final wild card playoff spot. She needs a big week, as there are several franchises only a few hundred behind that are ready to pounce and take the final berth.
9. Don Mattingly ($1,500; NR)
Donnie rises up with a huge week, winning $500 and taking over the South lead, which Will Cover led practically all season long. In the South, it’s likely that only the division winner could head to the playoffs, so it’s do or die in Week 17. Don has his wild card bet available, and so does Will….
10. Will Cover ($1,400; 9)
If the playoffs started today, Will would be out of it. He has his wild card bet, and needs to use it (and win it) to try to win the division, or at best to push into the playoffs. Quick side note: congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Will Cover, who welcomed their first baby to the world last Monday (some pundits have said that Will Cover’s 2012 downward spiral perfectly correlated with Mrs. Cover’s third trimester). They have appropriately named their first born – Three-Team Parlay.
Others receiving votes: Mr. Marbles; Bud Fox; Kimmy Gibbler
Dropped out: Mr. Marbles
