This season, the Executive Director has hired HAL-9000 to run periodic simulations of the division and postseason races. HAL runs 200,000 simulations to provide an unofficial outlook on the rest of the 2026 campaign.
East Division
| Franchise | Current Total | Win Division | Make Playoffs |
|---|
| Donnie Jeffcoat | $1,900 | 48.9% | 96.0% |
| The People’s Champ | $1,600 | 29.5% | 87.4% |
| Mitch Conner | $1,300 | 18.9% | 79.3% |
| Blossom Russo | $100 | 2.0% | 30.8% |
| Tapkas McGuiness | -$500 | 0.4% | 12.0% |
| Babe | -$1,300 | 0.2% | 4.2% |
| Thine | -$1,100 | 0.1% | 3.2% |
| The Notorious ABT | -$1,400 | 0.1% | 2.3% |
North Division
| Franchise | Current Total | Win Division | Make Playoffs |
|---|
| Boss Hardigan | $900 | 46.1% | 66.8% |
| Tony Montana | $600 | 30.5% | 56.5% |
| Biff Tannen | $100 | 12.3% | 30.4% |
| Judge Smails | -$300 | 7.4% | 18.8% |
| The Big Hurt | -$700 | 1.4% | 4.7% |
| Ted DiBiase | -$1,400 | 1.1% | 3.3% |
| Rick Moranis | -$800 | 1.1% | 3.7% |
| Lee Iacocca | -$3,100 | 0.0% | 0.0% |
South Division
| Franchise | Current Total | Win Division | Make Playoffs |
|---|
| Shecky | $900 | 44.6% | 65.7% |
| T-Ferg | $200 | 13.8% | 34.7% |
| Chalky Studebaker | $100 | 12.9% | 31.2% |
| Karl Farbman | -$100 | 11.8% | 26.7% |
| Roy Donk | -$200 | 8.6% | 21.9% |
| Karl Hungus | -$300 | 6.7% | 18.2% |
| Prop Joe | -$1,100 | 1.5% | 4.8% |
| Kenny Powers | -$2,000 | 0.0% | 0.1% |
West Division
| Franchise | Current Total | Win Division | Make Playoffs |
|---|
| Yaz | $1,600 | 35.7% | 81.9% |
| Chris B. Corey | $1,500 | 34.3% | 90.8% |
| The Beard of Zeus | $1,400 | 27.7% | 82.6% |
| Mr. Marbles | -$400 | 1.1% | 15.4% |
| OJ | -$500 | 0.4% | 9.2% |
| Bud Fox | -$700 | 0.3% | 7.4% |
| Neon Boudeaux | -$600 | 0.3% | 7.4% |
| Larisa Oleynik | -$1,800 | 0.2% | 2.5% |
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