Week 1 Recap
Studs (+$500)
East: Boss Hardigan; Kenny Powers
North: Babe; Larisa Oleynik
South: Rick Moranis; The Big Hurt; The People’s Champ
West: Patrick Bateman; Tony Montana
Duds (-$500)
East: Mr. Marbles
North: None
South: Karl Farbman
West: OJ; Yaz
Other Notes:
– Blossom Russo was perfect on bets but submitted late
– The league was a collective +$3,700 in Week 1
– Tony Montana has never picked a game wrong in his FMFL career
Week 2 Standings
Week 1 Results
Week 1 Picks
Week 1 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
Week 1 Standings
Welcome to the 2022 Season from Luther Lavay
(Editor’s note: The 2021 winner, Luther Lavay, has penned some words of wisdom as we kick off the 2022 season. His message is below.)
Sunday, September 13, 2020 at 2am, we arrive at Mercy Hospital in downtown Baltimore. My wife, Katie, was ready to deliver our second son. As we were preparing to leave the house, I rechecked to ensure that everything was packed prior to leaving for the hospital. A quick drive through the rough streets of Bmore, lasting no longer then 15 minutes, and we were parked and ready to make our way to the delivery room. As we approached our room, it hit me, I had forgotten the all-important snack bag. This may have been even more important than the actual delivery. As I stirred up the courage to admit my mistake, I had a plan to drive home quickly to pick up the bag, assuming that the contractions were far enough apart. After getting Katie checked into the room and checking with the doctor who ensured me that we were ten hours away from delivery, I made a quick run home for the all-important bag of snacks. That would not be the only thing that I forgot that faithfully early morning.
As the Epidural was setting in and the contraction screams died down a bit, I looked at the clock. 11am on Sunday, September 13th. There was a pit in my stomach, It felt like I was still missing something. And then it hit me. I forgot to submit my picks for the Funny Money league. Frantically, I jumped on my computer, ran through the spreads and sent over the picks with an explanation of the soon to be delivery. The response that I got back from The Executive Director was that I would still be assessed a -$100 fine for late picks. Half of me thought how ruthless, but the other half thought mad respect for keeping this rule in place even in this situation. As the clock stuck 1pm, our second son entered the world. What a beautiful sight. The nurse handed him to Katie and asked, have you two decided a name. As I was getting ready to blurt out Luther Lavay Rose, Katie beat me to the punch exclaiming, Brayden Patrick Rose. It was at that moment that I made a plan to win the league in 2021. I would lay low in 2020, spend time with my new son and then completely focus on winning the playoffs the next year. Everything was lined up as planned. Get out slow in the early 2021 season, lose the wild card (when the Raiders gave up a 46 yard pass interference with ten seconds left to put the game into OT and not cover), back into the playoffs as the 10th seed on the last game of the season, ironically a win by the Raiders and then march through the playoffs on the heels of Burrow and the Bengals.
Fast forward to current day, sitting in my house in Marriottsville, Maryland. I reach up to grab the championship plaque and get it ready to bubble wrap and send it back to The Executive Director. One more hug of the plaque and I wrap it up in the box for shipping. Part of me thinks, why pay shipping when I am just going to run through the league again this year? At this point it is simply a fight for 2nd place as the Luther Reign has just begun….
2022 Divisions
Here are the divisions for the 2022 FMFL Season:
East Division
Blossom Russo
Boss Hardigan*
Chalky Studebaker
Kenny Powers
Kiko Garcia
Luther Lavay
Mr. Marbles
Thine
North Division
Babe
Bud Fox
Donnie Jeffcoat
Karl Hungus
Larisa Oleynik
T-Ferg*
The Beard of Zeus
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
South Division
Bayonnaise
Biff Tannen
Chris B. Corey
Karl Farbman*
Rick Moranis
Shecky
The Big Hurt
The People’s Champ
West Division
Don Mattingly
Judge Smails
Neon Boudeaux
OJ
Patrick Bateman
The Notorious ABT*
Tony Montana
Yaz
*Defending champion of the division
2022 Divisional Draft Recap
The following is an edited transcript from this year’s divisional draft, which was held on August 28, 2022.
The Executive Director: Good evening all
The Notorious A.B.T. : Good evening gentlemen
Karl Farbman: Good evening
Boss Hardigan: Hey Fellas
The Notorious A.B.T. : I would just like to say the The Notorious A.B.T. is thrilled to be sharing this draft with the Big Three: Boss, Karl, and T-Ferg and true titans in the league.
Karl Farbman: Ditto
The Executive Director: With all four franchises represented we can get started
The Executive Director: Welcome all to the 2022 FMFL Divisional Draft. This will be a standard snake draft. Round one will go: Boss Hardigan, T-Ferg, Karl Farbman, ABT. Round two will be in the reverse order (Abt, Karl, T-Ferg, Hardigan), etc. We’ll go until all teams are chosen. First on the clock to get us started is Boss Hardigan. Boss, you’re up.
Boss Hardigan: Luther
The Notorious A.B.T. : my god…
The Executive Director: Wow bold. Now to T-Ferg
T-Ferg: The Beard of Zeus
The Executive Director: Excellent – on to Karl
Karl Farbman: Thanks so much – I’ll take Shecky
The Executive Director: Over to ABT for two picks
The Notorious A.B.T. : Before my first selection, the The Notorious A.B.T. would like to announce the twond annual Autumnal Funny Money Classic will take place Sunday Nov. 6th. In the spirit of the league it will be a day of friendship and revelry.
The Notorious A.B.T. : Like last year we will have a golf competition in the morning followed by gathering at Benders bar Baltimore. OJ, Kar Hungus, Rick Moranis, the Big Hurt, Neon Bordeaux and Luthar Lavay have all confirmed for this date. Please join us!!
The Notorious A.B.T. : And now on to my picks… Yaz
The Notorious A.B.T. : and Judge Smails
The Executive Director: Thanks ABT – back to Karl
Karl Farbman: I’ll take Bayonnaise
The Executive Director: Back to T-Ferg for the next pick
T-Ferg: Waldo Geraldo Faldo
The Notorious A.B.T. : The Beard and Waldo were both in my top 10 Power rankings!
The Executive Director: Now over to Hardigan for two
Boss Hardigan: Blossom
Boss Hardigan: Thine
The Executive Director: Thine was the final pick last year and goes much earlier in two0twotwo
The Notorious A.B.T. : Boss, playing by the keeping your enemies close wisdom
Boss Hardigan: Boss has no friends only enemies
The Notorious A.B.T. : !
The Executive Director: Over to T-Ferg
T-Ferg: Gimme Karl Hungus
The Executive Director: Hungus off the board – Farbman is up
Karl Farbman: I’ll take the much maligned Big Hurt
The Executive Director: over to Abt for two
The Notorious A.B.T. : I’ll go with the Rook, Tony Montana
The Notorious A.B.T. : And no other than Donnie baseball
The Executive Director: Back to Farbman
Karl Farbman: I’ll take Rick Moranis
The Executive Director: Excellent – now to T-Ferg
T-Ferg: I’ll take the other Donnie – Jeffcoat
The Executive Director: To Boss for two picks
Boss Hardigan: Mr Marbles
Boss Hardigan: and Chalky S.
The Notorious A.B.T. : The ultimate bellweather frachise
The Executive Director: Indeed – back to T-Ferg
T-Ferg: Larisa
The Executive Director: To Karl
Karl Farbman: I’ll take The People’s Champ
The Executive Director: to ABT for two
The Notorious A.B.T. : With great pleasure I select NEON
Boss Hardigan: Neon
The Notorious A.B.T. : aswellas OJ
The Executive Director: What a pair
The Notorious A.B.T. : The division will have all Don Mattingly originals and spinoffs
The Executive Director: Back to Karl
Karl Farbman: I’ll take Biff Tannen
The Executive Director: Back to T-Ferg
T-Ferg: Babe
The Executive Director: Now over to Hardigan for his final two
Boss Hardigan: Kenny Powers
Boss Hardigan: Kiko Garcia
The Executive Director: We are down to Chris B Corey, Patrick Bateman and Bud Fox
The Executive Director: T-Ferg is up
T-Ferg: I’ll take Bud Fox
The Executive Director: Karl, two choices remain
Karl Farbman: I’ll take Chris B Corey
The Executive Director: That leaves ABT with Patrick Bateman
The Notorious A.B.T. : I respect the hell out of Patrick Bateman. Just have to hope for an off year
The Executive Director: Great draft everyone – any parting words
Boss Hardigan: Great Draft!
Boss Hardigan: good luck to all
The Notorious A.B.T. : Thank ED!
Karl Farbman: Good luck all. Boss Hardigan I hope you make the postseason again (you are no threat in the playoffs)
T-Ferg: Best of luck
The Notorious A.B.T. : Autumnal Nov 6th!!!
The Executive Director: Thanks all
Welcome to the 2022 Season
Welcome to the 16th season of the Funny Money Football League!
