Week 2 Standings
Week 1 Picks
Week 1 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
Week 1 Standings
Welcome to the 2017 Season from Dr. Oge
(Editor’s note: The 2016 winner, Dr. Oge, has graciously contributed some wisdom as we kick off the 2017 season. His message is below.)
What It Takes to be Number One in Funny Money
Winning in Funny Money is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all of the time. Winning Funny Money is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in Funny Money, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is second place prize money, but it is a prize for losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win, especially in Funny Money.
Every time a Funny Money player goes to ply his trade he’s got to play from the ground up – from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come in second in Funny Money.
Running a Funny Money team is no different than running any other kind of organization – an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win – to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.
It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there – to compete. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules – but to win.
And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat, especially in Funny Money.
I don’t say these things because I believe in the ‘brute’ nature of men or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour — his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear — is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious in Funny Money.
– Vincent T. Lombardi (Famous Funny Money League Champion)
2017 FMFL Divisions
Below are the 2017 FMFL Division, as chosen by the 2016 division winners:
East Division
Bud Fox
Chris B. Corey
Face
Judge Smails
Patrick Bateman
The Beard of Zeus
The Big Hurt*
Yaz
North Division
Babe
Bayonnaise
Blossom Russo
Don Mattingly
Gordon Bombay*
Kimmy Gibbler
Larisa Oleynik
Shecky
South Division
Boss Hardigan
Chalky Studebaker
Karl Farbman
Kiko Garcia
Neon Boudeaux
OJ
Thine*
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
West Division
Donnie Jeffcoat
Dr. Oge
Kenny Powers*
Mr. Marbles
Rick Moranis
T-Ferg
The Notorious ABT
The People’s Champ
*Denotes defending champion of the division.
2017 Divisional Draft Chat Recap
The following is an edited transcript from this year’s divisional draft, which was held on August 27, 2017.
The Executive Director: Gentlemen….congratulations on winning your division last year. Enjoy the final fruits of your labor tonight. This will be a snake draft, with the order being: Thine, Big Hurt, Gordon, Kenny, and then the reverse in the following rounds. We’ll go 7 rounds until all 2017 franchises have been chosen. Thine, you are up with the first pick:
Thine: Karl Farbman
TBH: He did it
The Executive Director: Thank you Thine
The Executive Director: The Big Hurt you are up
The Big Hurt: Judge Smails
The Executive Director: Gordon’s turn
Gordon Bombay: Don Mattingly
The Executive Director: Excellent choice
The Executive Director: Kenny for two picks
The Executive Director: Paging Kenny….
Kenny Powers: Not the farbman..i’ll take The Notorious ABT and Rick Moranis
The Executive Director: Excellent, back to gordon
Gordon Bombay: Shecky
The Executive Director: Big Hurt to you
The Big Hurt: Face, my good man
The Executive Director: Now to Thine for 2
Thine: I’ll take OJ aswellas Neon Boudeaux
The Executive Director: Wow, just thoroughbreds
The Big Hurt: My god…
The Executive Director: Back to the Big Hurt
The Big Hurt: I shall take Patrick Bateman
The Executive Director: Solid – Gordon to you
Gordon Bombay: Ms. Blossom
The Executive Director: Russo is all yours
The Executive Director: Kenny two picks
Kenny Powers: Donnie Jeffcoat and Dr Oge. easy boys
The Executive Director: Gordon to you
Gordon Bombay: Babe
The Executive Director: The Big Hurt is up
The Big Hurt: I select Chris B Corey
The Big Hurt: what have i done
The Executive Director: Now onto Thine for another two
Thine: I will go with Boss Hardigan, in revenge
The Big Hurt: aswellas..
The Executive Director: And another?
Thine: Waldo Geraldo Faldo aswell
Thine: I beat them all. I fear no one.
The Executive Director: The Big Hurt is up
The Big Hurt: The Beard of Zeus
The Executive Director: Nice – now to Gordon
Gordon Bombay: the founding franchise of THE Bayonnaise
Gordon Bombay: may he place late bets
The Executive Director: The man the myth
The Executive Director: Kenny for two picks and the standard 2 minute delay
Kenny Powers: The People’s Champ and T-ferg, you like that godfather?
The Executive Director: I love it. You always impress me. Gordon?
Gordon Bombay: Gimme the Gibbler
The Executive Director: Kimmy is yours
The Executive Director: The Hurt is up
The Big Hurt: Yaz my good man
The Executive Director: now to Thine for his last two
Thine: I will go with Chalky Studebaker
Thine: and Kiko Garcia
The Executive Director: Great and now to the Big Hurt
The Executive Director: Bud, Larisa, and Marbles are left
The Big Hurt: Can I select Thine?
The Executive Director: I wish
The Big Hurt: I take Bud Fox
The Executive Director: Gordon – Larisa Oleynik or Mr. Marbles?
Gordon Bombay: …
Gordon Bombay: Oleynik
The Executive Director: And that gives Kenny Powers Mr. Marbles
The Executive Director: Thank you gentlemen – any parting words as we begin the season?
The Big Hurt: Congratulations Gordon Bombay
Thine: Good luck gentlemen. And congratulations to Gordon, may the odds be ever in his favor.
Kenny Powers: thanks commish. this time drafted teams that are actually still in the league.
The Executive Director: Your best work yet Kenny
The Executive Director: Thanks all and good night
Thine: Good night sir.
Gordon Bombay: Best of luck all
Kenny Powers: I wish none of you luck in typical powers fashion.
The Big Hurt: Goodnight Gentlemen, aswellas Thine
Welcome to the 2017 Season!
Welcome to the 11th season of the Funny Money Football League!
Final Standings
Congratulations to Dr. Oge on winning the 2016 FMFL title!
First Place – Dr. Oge
Second Place – Mr. Marbles
Third Place – The Big Hurt
Super Bowl Scenarios
