Week 11 Standings
East
| Bayonnaise | $1,300 |
| Karl Farbman | $1,000 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | $500 |
| Kenny Powers | $0 |
| Larisa Oleynik | -$300 |
| The 21th Precinct | -$1,400 |
| The Phoenix | -$1,500 |
North
| The Beard of Zeus | $1,200 |
| Babe | $300 |
| Kiko Garcia | $300 |
| Kimmy Gibbler | -$200 |
| T-Ferg | -$900 |
| Waldo Geraldo Faldo | -$1,500 |
| Face | -$1,700 |
South
| Mr. Marbles | $1,300 |
| The People’s Champ | $700 |
| Will Cover | $0 |
| Yaz | -$100 |
| Teddy KGB | -$300 |
| Art Schlichter | -$1,300 |
| Blossom Russo | -$2,500 |
West
| Ron Mexico | $1,200 |
| Gordon Bombay | $400 |
| Slovy Maximus | $0 |
| Boss Hardigan | -$100 |
| The Notorious A.B.T. | -$300 |
| Don Mattingly | -$1,000 |
| Rick Moranis | -$1,200 |
Overall Leader
| Mr. Marbles | $1,300 |
| Bayonnaise | $1,300 |
| The Beard of Zeus | $1,200 |
| Ron Mexico | $1,200 |
| Karl Farbman | $1,000 |
Wild Card Standings
| Karl Farbman | $1,000 |
| The People’s Champ | $700 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | $500 |
| Gordon Bombay | $400 |
| Babe | $300 |
| ————– | ——- |
| Kiko Garcia | $300 |
| Kenny Powers | $0 |
| Slovy Maximus | $0 |
Week 10 Picks
As I See It: Babe
As part of a new running feature, each Friday one franchise owner will have the opportunity to write whatever they want in this space. This week’s guest writer is Babe. He’s got a reaction to last week’s ‘As I See It.’ Babe, take it away….
When the Executive Director asked me to write up this week’s “As I See It” I wondered how I would follow up the history lesson dished out last week. And then it hit me…
Seven days ago 26 of us threw away 10 – 20 minutes of our lives re-hashing a day that will live in Funny Money infamy. Sure, we were all able to witness the birth of the game we all know and love, but we were also treated to some very important lessons in both gambling and life.
Number One – Nothing good can come out of a group of men getting together and giving themselves a nickname – The FUBARS? Really? This was like reading a drunk college girl’s AIM/Facebook profile a la “Love my girlies” or, my personal favorite, “You’re only as strong as the alcohol you drink, the tables you dance on and the friends by your side.”
Other notable “ambiguously” all male groups:
• New Kids on the Block
• Backstreet Boys
• *NSync
• New Edition
• Boyz II Men…OK, this last one is the exception rather than the rule.
Number Two – Quitters never win – We’re led to believe that a heartbreaking gambling loss drove a group of friends to throw in the towel, stop betting real money altogether and start up a relatively risk free, friendly game. However, that’s merely the excuse to mask the series of avoidable betting mistakes that drove these grumpy old men to give up football betting. Which brings me to #3…
Number Three – Gambling mistakes to avoid – What eventually led to all of us blindly placing our faith in our own abilities to play the odds against the weekly lines was a collection basic gambling no-no’s.
• Never bet for or against a team in your team’s division – A group of Browns fans picked the Steelers to win. Bad Karma. Period.
• If the worst gambler you know jumps on the bandwagon, then you must immediately jump off – To paraphrase the Sports Guy, this guy sucks the luck out of any pick he touches.
• Beware the suck bet – Every week there are one or two games where the odds seem unbelievably stacked in one team’s favor with a ridiculously small point spread. In this case a Steelers team stacked with future HOF’ers is favored over a misfit group of Raiders (from LA) on a frozen field in Pittsburgh.
As I see it, we all have a lot to learn from our Funny Money forefathers. For one, get out of the game early enough as to not end up looking like Brett Favre. Just let the kids play. And, finally, the only thing more depressing than losing your money to a bookie is losing it to your idiot friend you know just asked his girlfriend to pick the Lions +4 vs. the Jets.
Week 10 Lines
Reminder: Bets must be in by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
The Top Ten: Week 10
Commentary: All of a sudden we are past the halfway point and heading toward home. With eight weeks left in the regular season, three of the four divisional races are tight, as is the race for the five wild-card spots. In the last few weeks, the league has rebounded from a brutal first half of the season, now with almost half the league on the positive side of zero. In Week 9, Yaz won his wild card bet and got back to $0, but still needs to make a run to get into the playoff picture. 17 franchises still have their big bet left.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Mr. Marbles ($1,200; 5)
Marbles rises to the top with a $500 week. The division race in the South is heating up.
2. Karl Farbman ($1,100; 3)
A push and a win helped Karl maintain the lead in the East. He leads by $300 and trails the overall leader by $100.
3. The People’s Champ ($1,000; 2)
The rare completely even week for the Champ. One win – one loss – one push. He stayed at $1,000 but lost the lead in the division.
4. Gordon Bombay ($900; 1)
Another great division race in the West, Bombay won $200 and kept his lead over long-time rival Ron Mexico.
5. Bayonnaise ($800; 4)
The ‘Naise eked out $100 (one win and two push games). He has solidified himself as a contender in the three-horse race in the East.
6. Mr. DeBlasis ($800; NR)
DeBlasis is back in it after a perfect week. He trails Farbman by $300 but now sits in wild-card position.
7. Ron Mexico ($700; 7)
Mexico split his bets and stayed within earshot of Gordon Bombay in the West.
8. The Beard of Zeus ($700; 6)
The Beard has the largest lead of any franchise in the FMFL. His closest North Division foe is $700 behind. Granted that we have a long way to go, if the B of Z can win $500 this week, he’ll create a big gap with only seven weeks to go.
9. Boss Hardigan ($400; NR)
The Boss is alive after a $500 week. He’s in the playoff picture and could even make a run at the division if he can put it together the next few weeks.
10. Teddy KGB ($300; 10)
Ditto for Teddy, who won $500 and got a little closer to the top of the league.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: Kenny Powers; Slovy Maximus; Kiko Garcia; Yaz
DROPPED OUT: Babe; Face
Week 10 Standings
East
| Karl Farbman | $1,100 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | $800 |
| Bayonnaise | $800 |
| Kenny Powers | $100 |
| Larisa Oleynik | -$200 |
| The Phoenix | -$1,000 |
| The 21th Precinct | -$1,300 |
North
| The Beard of Zeus | $700 |
| Kiko Garcia | $0 |
| Babe | -$200 |
| Kimmy Gibbler | -$700 |
| T-Ferg | -$1,000 |
| Face | -$1,100 |
| Waldo Geraldo Faldo | -$1,400 |
South
| Mr. Marbles | $1,200 |
| The People’s Champ | $1,000 |
| Teddy KGB | $300 |
| Yaz | $0 |
| Will Cover | -$100 |
| Art Schlichter | -$800 |
| Blossom Russo | -$2,400 |
West
| Gordon Bombay | $900 |
| Ron Mexico | $700 |
| Boss Hardigan | $400 |
| Slovy Maximus | $100 |
| The Notorious A.B.T. | -$800 |
| Don Mattingly | -$900 |
| Rick Moranis | -$1,300 |
Overall Leader
| Mr. Marbles | $1,200 |
| Karl Farbman | $1,100 |
| The People’s Champ | $1,000 |
| Gordon Bombay | $900 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | $800 |
Wild Card Standings
| The People’s Champ | $1,000 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | $800 |
| Bayonnaise | $800 |
| Ron Mexico | $700 |
| Boss Hardigan | $400 |
| ————– | ——- |
| Teddy KGB | $300 |
| Kenny Powers | $100 |
| Slovy Maximus | $100 |
Week 9 Picks
As I See It: Face and Yaz
As part of a new running feature, each Friday one franchise owner will have the opportunity to write whatever they want in this space. This week’s guest writers are the Face and Yaz. It’s about time for a history lesson. the FMFL didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s about time to hear the story. Boys, take it away….
One Bad Day: Birth of a League
Friday, November 5, 2010, 2:35 EST. Don Mattingly is in his ten-by-twelve cubicle, working on a cash flow statement for his least favorite client. He is out of balance. Pouring over each line item and each Excel formula to see where his error lies, his headache intensifies, as his eyeballs dart back and forth mentally ticking in the numbers. Due first thing Monday, he wants to finish today so he can enjoy the weekend.
In the lower-right-hand corner of his screen, up pops an email alert: it’s the Executive Director with the latest on the Funny Money. Don clicks “save” on his spreadsheet and quickly checks out the email. This week’s lines are up. Here we go again. He spends the next 2 hours and 45 minutes analyzing the spreads, injury reports and six or seven handicapping web sites, playing what-ifs, daydreaming that he hits his wild card to perhaps make it to the Top Ten and get a little ink.
Along the way he wonders who the heck thought up this funny money idea anyways. The E.D. would lead you to believe it was him, but he changes the subject whenever you bring it up. Here goes…
Sunday, January 4, 1976, 12 noon. Fairview Park, Ohio. Seven Cleveland FUBARS were gathered at Hubie’s apartment for the NFL conference championship doubleheader. First game at 1:00 – Oakland vs. Pittsburgh on NBC, followed by Dallas vs. the L. A. Rams at 4:00 on CBS. These were the days the networks didn’t cooperate much; hardly any room between games.
“OK, I just called Pizza Joe…the line on the Pittsburgh game is Pittsburgh minus 6 ½, over-under 42 ½. Who do we like?” asked Abes, the inveterate banker, always wanting to take care of business while there was still time. “Hurry up, I gotta get this in, he gets busy around noon, especially before playoff games.”
Pizza Joe knew the FUBARS well, with Abes more often“dropping off” than “picking up” every Wednesday at Joe’s pizza shop. The 1975 season had been particularly brutal. On one visit Joe smirked that the FUBARS paid his two sons’ first semester tuition at St. Ignatius in Cleveland. Not chump change.
The Steelers, led by later-to-be NFL hall-of-famers Chuck Noll, Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Lynn Swan, Mike Webster, Joe Greene, Jack Ham, Jack Lambert, Mel Blount, and several other All-Pros had just cruised through the regular season at 14-2, and were odds-on favorites to capture their second straight Super Bowl. God damn – eight hall-of-famers on the same squad. The Raiders, guided by their suspicious-looking head coach, John Madden, were the bad boys of the league, quarterbacked by the precise but usually hung-over Kenny “the Snake” Stabler, throwing to Cliff Branch and Dave Casper; with the defense including Ohio State’s Jack Tatum, widely-known as a “headhunter” who two years later would end the career of Darryl Stingley, paralyzing him from the chest down after a vicious hit coming across the middle. The Raiders’ kicker was 48-year old George Blanda, coming off his 26th season of professional football, and quite possibly playing his last game.
The game was to be played in drafty Three Rivers Stadium, on that worn, slippery Astroturf. Cloudy and 20 degrees; relative humidity 62%, wind 19 mph; wind chill minus 2 degrees. Bitterly cold all week, the Pittsburgh grounds crew covered the field with a tarp and pumped hot, moist air underneath, forming a bulbous tent. Unfortunately, the tarp ripped the night before the game, and the field literally became a sheet of ice near the perimeter of the field, and about 10 yards in. A zamboni machine was used to attempt to remove the ice the morning of the game. Madden went nuts, alleging the field was hosed down on purpose. Al Davis complained to Commissioner Pete Rozelle, who was at the game, to no avail.
Ben Dreith was the head referee, who was seemingly, coincidentally, always in the middle of games in which the spread made a difference.
“Pittsburgh will win, but not cover, so let’s take Oakland with the points” said the Tools, short for Mike Toula, the legendary Cleveland gambler known for his football handicapping streaks, mostly losing streaks. “That thief Ben Dreith will make sure of it.” Three days earlier Mike had gone 0-5 on New Year’s Day, losing, in order, the Cotton Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Orange Bowl and Rose Bowl with escalating wagers, the latter a crushing Dick Vermeil-led UCLA upset over Woody Hayes’ No. 1 Ohio State Buckeyes, 23-10. Tools had Ohio State and the over. Lost them both.
“That does it, we’re betting Pittsburgh,” said Hubie. “We’re going to listen to the Tools, who hasn’t won a game all year? This is the same guy who back in November lost a bet on an NBA game when his team scored a basket at the wrong end of the court. Jesus Christ, gimmee a break. Abes, put me down for $100 on Pittsburgh.” The Tools had an effect on the way guys wanted to bet.
“Put me down for $100,” said Larry.
“$100 for me, too,” added the Yaz.
“Aw, what the heck, $150; I’m up from last week’s division games,” said Checks, who picked up his moniker some years earlier, the result of a nasty habit of trying to cash personal checks in the midst of high-stakes poker games.
Abes then chimed in for $50; Face was in for $100. Tools begrudgingly went along for $200.
“Hey, how about a Steelers-Rams parlay?” said Face. “2.4-1 on your money. A mortal lock.” Checks’ eyes twinkled, always interested in a long-shot wager. The proposal went nowhere.
“OK, we’re in,” Abes said, as he hung up the phone. “Pittsburgh minus six-and-a-half, $880 to win $800.”
Would it be the FUBARS’ down payment for another semester of Joe’s sons’ tuition? Nope. No way. Not today. These Steelers were going to roll today.
After attacking a dozen or so all-beef hot dogs topped with Cleveland’s “stadium” mustard, and washed down by the first few of many, many cold beers, all settled in to listen to Curt Gowdy call the game, with Don Meredith and Al DeRogatis doing the color. Jim Simpson was on the sideline. A young, portly, afro-topped Bryant Gumble was to do a halftime report. Couldn’t get any better.
The first half ended 3-0 Pittsburgh, on Roy Gerela’s 36-yard field goal in the second quarter. Gerela during the 1975 season was 17/21 on field goals and 44/46 on extra points.
Halftime – Gowdy and Meredith have a chat with NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle. A good time to check out the latest lines on the Dallas game. “OK, just got off the phone with Joe. The four o’clock game has the Rams minus 3. Over-under at 44. Joe said the line’s moving, ‘cause everyone’s betting the shit out of the Rams. So if we like L. A., better get it in now, “ implored Abes. Getting it in early meant he didn’t have to wrestle with busy signals later. No call waiting in 1976. No internet either.
Nobody listened. We had to wait and see how the Pittsburgh game went in the second half. Smart handicappers wait until the last minute.
The third quarter was scoreless. “I’m telling you guys, we should have bet Oakland; you’ll see,” smirked the Tools.
Pittsburgh struck first in the fourth quarter, with Franco Harris barreling around left end 25 yards for the first TD of the game. Gerela kick.
Pittsburgh 10-0.
Oakland scored next, with Stabler hitting Mike Siani on a 14-yard pass across the middle. Blanda kick. 10-7.
Pittsburgh then countered with John Stallworth’s 20-yard touchdown catch in the corner of the end zone. The hold was botched on the extra point. No good. “That’ll come back to haunt us,” yipped Tools. Pittsburgh up by nine, 16-7.
3:35 EST. The Steelers are covering. Gotta call Pizza Joe by 4 o’clock. Abes is pacing, staying close to the phone.
3:48 EST. 1:52 remaining. The Steelers put the stop on Oakland and now have the ball. Raiders have two time outs. The Steelers will run the clock out on this possession. Piece of cake. Abes is really nervous.
“Let’s roll it all on the Rams; get it in Abes,” cried Yaz. Everyone agreed. “Hurry up and make sure you get it in by the 4:00 o’clock kickoff.” Abes, who was sitting next to the phone much like Michael Corleone the night of Don Vito’s ambush, miraculously got through on the first try.
“It’s in. $880 to win $800, Rams minus 3. Most we can lose today is 80 bucks.”
Pittsburgh’s ball with 1:37 to go, second and two. Yes. Notre Dame’s Terry Hanratty now in for Terry Bradshaw, who was knocked out of the game and in the locker room, handed off to Franco Harris. Fumble.
Oakland’s ball. Time out. Clock stopped at 1:31. Holy dick.
“Gimmee another beer,” said Larry.
Face ripped open a second pack of Winston reds, firing one up in the process.
“Not a problem. We just gotta stop them from scoring a TD; a field goal does them no good,“ rationalized Hubie.
67 seconds later, with 24 seconds left, the Raiders had a first down at the Pittsburgh 24-yard line. Time out. Now no timeouts left for Oakland.
On the next play, Stabler launched a pass intended for Morris Bradshaw who, going for the grab, flattened a ten-year-old kid standing next to end zone. Incomplete.
17 seconds left. Second and ten. Two more shots into the end zone for the Snake. Just knock down two passes and we’re home free.
Tools tried to get one more in: “I’m tellin’ ya….”
He was interrupted by Don Meredith’s southern twang: “Blanda’s coming on to kick a field goal…”
Field goal? Did we hear that right? Dandy Don, tell us you’re joking. Field goal? On second down? With 17 seconds left? No way. Is Madden crazy? They’re down by nine, not one, two or three. They need a touchdown, not a field goal. They’re right there at the 24. Get the touchdown, then recover an onside kick, go 30-some yards in twelve-ish seconds and then kick the field goal. That’s the way to do it.
Even if they try one, how can a 48-year old straight-ahead placekicker make a 41-yard field goal at Three Rivers, on one of the worst fields in the history of the playoffs, into a 20 mile-per-hour wind and the temperature now at 10 degrees? For Christ’s sake, the guy has no ass and his pants are near falling down as he jogs onto the field…
Gowdy made the call: “George Blanda…..Stabler to hold….kicks it…up…and the kick is good with 12 seconds to go! Now that makes it 16-10.” Utter silence.
“Who didn’t know that?” observed the Tools.
“Madden has to have money on this game. I’ll never bet football again in my life.” said Checks.
Oakland would recover the onside kick and the game would end as time ran out with a Kenny Stabler pass to Cliff Branch at the Steelers’ 15. But it didn’t matter.
Final: Pittsburgh 16, Oakland 10. On the pizza shop ledger it was Oakland 16 ½ , Pittsburgh 16.
“I told you guys…you wouldn’t listen,” chortled the Tools. “Let’s hope those Rams cover…”
It was now 4:15 EST. “Quick, turn the channel and check the score of the Rams game,” screamed Larry.
It was 7-0 Dallas, en route to a 37-7 Dallas blowout. The Rams’ only score was in the fourth quarter after Dallas had built up a 34-0 lead. Good night nurse.
Bad day. Man did we get screwed. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. But it didn’t matter; no one was listening. The field didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that the Steelers turned the ball over seven times, with four fumbles and three interceptions. Didn’t matter Lynn Swann got driven head first into the frozen turf, suffering a concussion, having to leave the game; same for Terry Bradshaw. That missed extra point didn’t matter either. That Ben Dreith might have altered the game with questionable calls – pointless. That the very last thing George Blanda did on a professional football field was kick an ultimately meaningless field goal to sink the FUBARS – icing on the cake. It was still a loss. It was in the cards. Worst day in FUBAR history.
“There’s gotta be a better way,” said one of Fubes.
“I dropped a car payment today,” added another.
There was a better way. That summer six of those FUBARS (everybody except the Tools) formed the FUBAR Funny Money Football League, and decided to bet mythical money instead of real money, starting with the 1976 NFL season.
* * * * *
The way we see it, because of that bad day, right now you are sitting at your computer reading this.
It’s why Don Mattingly frittered away the rest of that Friday afternoon, and had to go in over the weekend, hung over, to finish the cash flow statement – only to discover it was a transposition error.
The way we see it, if not for that bad day, the Executive Director can’t gloat that he’s organized this great idea via a web site, and is reloading his online account every Sunday morning, along with the rest of the younger guys in this league. If not for that one, bad day.
Epilogue
Two weeks later, Pittsburgh won their second straight Super Bowl by beating the Dallas Cowboys, 21-17 at the Orange Bowl in Miami. The 4-point victory was not enough to cover the 7-point spread. The FUBARS recovered most of their January 4 losses by betting the Cowboys, with Checks leading the charge.
George Blanda announced his retirement shortly after the Super Bowl. In its meeting in January 1981, the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s Board of Selectors recognized the legendary contributions George had made to the game and rewarded him with a near-unanimous vote for Hall membership in his first year of eligibility. He died in September 2010 at the age of 83.
The FUBAR Funny Money Football League is currently in the midst of its 35th season. Total franchises are at 24, and the league is run by second-generation FUBARS. They do not have a web site. There exists a low-level rumor that merger discussions are underway.
Pizza Joe ended his bookie career in 1979, retiring untouched by the long arm of the law. He died in 2002. There is no plaque at the pizza shop saying the FUBARS paid his kids’ St. Ignatius tuition for the 1975-76 school year.
Mike Toula died in 1997, at age 44, the victim of a heart attack and years of tough gambling losses, including the NFL conference championship doubleheader that was watched at Hubie’s on January 4, 1976. One of the divisions of the FFMFL is named in his memory. Long live the Tools.
* * * * *
Box score
Various TV stills of the game
On the icy field conditions (great)
Highlight reel:
NBC beginning of the game
First quarter action
Second quarter action
Third quarter action
Fourth quarter action
Steeler missed extra point at 6:31
Harris fumble at 1:30; Blanda field goal at 6:00
Franco Harris scores
John Stallworth scores
End of game pass to Cliff Branch
Week 9 Lines
Reminder: Bets must be in my Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
The Midseason Report
Gentlemen – We are at the halfway point. It has been a lackluster season at best. Aside from the last few weeks, most of the league struggled to avoid losses. However, a ton of franchises are within striking distance and 18 guys still have their wild card bets left. No division is a runaway by any means. Nevertheless, no one is getting an “A” on their Midseason Report Card. No one deserves it.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first eight weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Bayonnaise
Amount: $700
Winning %: 0.525
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 7 – Seattle – Won
Comment: The ‘Naise came on strong the last few weeks, +1,500 in Weeks 7 and 8 to be exact. The most alarming stat of the first half of the season for him is $0 in fines. If Bayonnaise goes an entire season without any fines, it would be on par with Wilt Chamberlain having a year of celibacy.
Grade: B+
Karl Farbman
Amount: $800
Winning %: 0.548
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Much like his career winning percentage dictates, Farbman always seems to hover around the 0.500 mark, never breaking away but never falling behind. Right now he leads the East but by a slim margin. His wild card bet could be the key to his season.
Grade: A-
Kenny Powers
Amount: $300
Winning %: 0.529
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Powers has flexed his muscles here and there in the 2010 campaign. He’s also had some bad weeks of betting. But he’s within a shout of the division lead and in the thick of the playoff hunt. A strong showing thus far.
Grade: B
Larisa Oleynik
Amount: -$600
Winning %: 0.429
Fines: $600
Wild Card: Week 3 – Tennessee – Won
Comment: Larisa disappointed early with a wagering gaffe that cost her a $600 fine. Without that, she’d be rolling. However, she had to pull out the wild card bet early in order to get back into things. She’ll need a solid second half to make a push for the playoffs.
Grade: C
Mr. DeBlasis
Amount: $300
Winning %: 0.593
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Mr. DeBlasis once ate the Bible while waterskiing. I once saw him scissor-kick Angela Lansbury. With a high winning percentage (almost 60%), DeBlasis is showing why he was an early season favorite to win it all. It might be a Mexican standoff between DeBlasis and the rest of the East: who will pull out the wild card bet first?
Grade: B-
The Phoenix
Amount: -$1,100
Winning %: 0.375
Fines: $100
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: The Phoenix is a perfect example of a franchise that hasn’t done particularly well this year, but still isn’t out of it. If he can put together a couple bets in the second half, is it too much to say that the Phoenix might be in playoff contention?
Grade: C-
The 21th Precinct
Amount: -$1,400
Winning %: 0.326
Fines: $100
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Hard times for the Precinct. He has steadily declined the last few weeks and now finds himself last in the division. If there is one franchise that needs (and can) turn it around quickly, it’s the Precinct. Look for his wild card to come out in the next few weeks.
Grade: D+
North Division
Babe
Amount: -$300
Winning %: 0.500
Fines: $100
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Babe has gone right down the center line in the first half of 2010. Two bets each week: eight wins, eight losses. Still shaking off the Week 17 collapse in 2009, Babe hasn’t been able to get any momentum from week-to-week. He’s another franchise whose wild card bet will make or break his playoff fate.
Grade: C+
Face
Amount: -$600
Winning %: 0.413
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Going into the season, there were high hopes for Face. A seasoned veteran, he has slipped up in the last few weeks, but don’t count him out. He’s averaging about three bets per week, but might have to go to a two-team strategy to get back in it.
Grade: D+
Kiko Garcia
Amount: -$100
Winning %: 0.364
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 6 – Pittsburgh – Won
Comment: Kiko’s record is quite deceiving. Only $100 in the negative, he has one of the lowest winning percentages in the league. But, he’s managed his money, won his wild card bet, and remains a playoff contender.
Grade: C+
Kimmy Gibbler
Amount: -$500
Winning %: 0.400
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 5 – Indianapolis – Won
Comment: No matter what Kimmy tries to do, she can’t seem to get over the hump. For ever week where she bets well, the next week she takes a step back. Gibbler has the potential, but has disappointed so far.
Grade: C-
T-Ferg
Amount: $-900
Winning %: 0.412
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: After a strong rookie season, T-Ferg has left a lot to be desired in 2010. He was crippled by a few push games in the first half. If they would’ve gone his way, he’d be right in contention. But if they would’ve gone the other way, he’d be way out of it.
Grade: D+
The Beard of Zeus
Amount: $600
Winning %: 0.595
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: With solid, methodical betting the Beard seems to have risen up this season. He has built one of the highest winning percentages in the league and leads his division at the halfway mark.
Grade: A-
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Amount: -$1,500
Winning %: 0.471
Fines: $600
Wild Card: Week 7 – Denver – Lost
Comment: Waldo’s wild card bet was on Denver. The week they gave up 59 to the Raiders. It’s a microcosm of his season.
Grade: D-
South Division
Art Schlichter
Amount: -$1,300
Winning %: 0.438
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 7 – Baltimore – Lost
Comment: Art is the anti-Kiko Garcia. He has a pretty good winning percentage, but seems to always lose his biggest bets. It will take a big surge to get him back into the running for the playoffs.
Grade: D+
Blossom Russo
Amount: -$2,700
Winning %:
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 4 – Indianapolis – Lost
Comment: Oh Blossom. In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine.
Grade: F
Mr. Marbles
Amount: $700
Winning %: 0.583
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Marbles is keeping pace in the South and still has his wild card bet. It looks as though the quest for the division title could be a two-horse race. But if Mr. Marbles fades in the next few weeks, the Champ could run away with it.
Grade: A-
Teddy KGB
Amount: -$200
Winning %: 0.528
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Teddy has been up and down and still has a shot at making a postseason run. That’s the good news. The bad news is his pattern of falling off in the second half of the season. We’ve seen this movie before and it doesn’t end well.
Grade: C+
The People’s Champ
Amount: $1,000
Winning %: 0.625
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Strong showing from the Champ, especially over the last four games. He owns the highest winning percentage in the league, has avoided fines, and overcame a slow start. But, he doesn’t have a big cushion in his division or overall. For now, he’s leading the pack.
Grade: A-
Will Cover
Amount: $0
Winning %: 0.429
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: After falling way back in the first few weeks, Will rebounded and now sits at even money going into the second half. He still has his wild card and has been trending towards the top of the standings. Can he keep it going?
Grade: B+
Yaz
Amount: -$1,000
Winning %: 0.406
Fines: $200
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Yaz has been way up (leading the division) and way down (now slipping to the bottom of the division). His legendary run at the end of the 2009 campaign showed that he can come from out of nowhere to win, but he has already dug himself a big hole with only nine weeks left.
Grade: C-
West Division
Boss Hardigan
Amount: -$100
Winning %: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Another franchise that has been slow and steady, the Boss is exactly 0.500 on his bets. He’s got the wild card in his back pocket and will need to play it to rise up in the West. Three of the other teams in the division have already used their big bet, so if he can cash it in, the Boss will be in contention.
Grade: C+
Don Mattingly
Amount: -$1,200
Winning %: 0.368
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: He has done so much better since he started betting the Giants and Chiefs.
Grade: D+
Gordon Bombay
Amount: $700
Winning %: 0.474
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 7 – Kansas City – Won
Comment: Bombay brought the noise in Week 7, winning his wild card and taking over the division. He has a slim lead, but has more experience than the other contenders in the West. If this race goes the distance, he should have the upper hand.
Grade: A-
Rick Moranis
Amount: -$1,400
Winning %: 0.357
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: Hell has not frozen over again. Rick is back to his losing ways, though he did win $500 to close out the first half. It looks like it’s going to be a season-long cellar battle between Rick and lifetime rival Don Mattingly.
Grade: D-
Ron Mexico
Amount: $600
Winning %: 0.556
Fines: $100
Wild Card: Week 5 – Philadelphia – Won
Comment: The strongest rookie to date, Ron won his wild card and briefly had the lead in the West. He followed this with a -$500 week and then a +$500 week. He’s only $100 back, but needs to be a little more consistent if he wants to be in the mix for the division – or even the overall – title.
Grade: A-
Slovy Maximus
Amount: $0
Winning %: 0.481
Fines: $0
Wild Card: Week 6 – Pittsburgh – Won
Comment: Slovy crawled back to even money after winning his wild card in Week 6. He’s built a so-so winning percentage by betting tons of games. He’s had some success, but might need to change his wagering pattern to gain momentum in the second half.
Grade: B-
The Notorious A.B.T.
Amount: -$700
Winning %: 0.435
Fines: $100
Wild Card: Still Available
Comment: The A.B.T. couldn’t seem to get it going in the first half of 2010. He had shades of greatness but would be flattened the next week. His scientific approach to wagering has failed him so far. He might turn into a man of faith in the second half.
Grade: C-
